Forever in my Memory
by Confesser Kahlan
Summary: (was Help me think of a title!) post GoF. During the summer after GoF, Harry's so depressed that even the Dursley's are worried. Of course, Voldemort's not helping eitherFlames will be used to toast the sender. Don't like, don't read. It's that simple.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledor, Petunia, Dudley, Vernon or Marge Dursley. Or any Rowling's other character. However, Marc Jonah is mine!

A/N: My first Harry Potter fanfic! Yay!

No. 4 Privet Drive

June 18, 1994

12:21 AM

__

Kill the spare.

"Noooo!"

Harry James Potter sat up in his bed, panting. It was the same dream that he had had every night since the Triwizard Tournament. Except it wasn't a dream, it was a memory. Every night, he relived Cedric Diggory's death and Voldemort's return.

He put his glasses on and glanced at the new watch that Dudley hadn't liked. 12:21 AM. He sighed, several more hours until dawn.

Harry got out of bed, turned on the light, and grabbed his Potions book. He sighed again as he sat at his desk. He was exhausted, but he knew he would not get back to sleep again.

He pushed his glasses up and began to read.

********

****

7:00 AM

Petunia Dursley placed two plates of eggs and bacon before her son, Dudley, and her husband, Vernon, just as her nephew sat down at the table, wearing a large, black tee-shirt and baggy blue jeans. She frowned at him. "Where were you? I called you down ten minutes ago."

Harry just glanced at her, his green eyes dull. She didn't expect a response; he hadn't spoken a word since he had been picked up at the train station.

She shook her head and grabbed a piece of toast off of a small plate on the table. She handed the toast to Harry with a frown. "Eat it this time, I don't cook just so you can play with your food."

Harry took the toast, studied it for a moment, then tore off a piece of crust and nibbled at it.

Petunia sighed and sat down, smoothing her dark blue dress. She hated to admit it, but she was getting worried about Harry. He wouldn't speak or eat and woke up screaming each night. 

She looked up as Vernon went to get the mail. She bit her lip and took a bite of bacon, reminded. They had received a letter from that 'school'. Apparently, Harry had been in some sort of tournament and one of the other competitors had died, seemingly in front of Harry.

Vernon came back in and set the mail on the table. He glanced at his watch. "Well, I'm off to pick up Marge. See you in a little bit." 

He kissed Petunia and Dudley, and then turned to Harry. Harry had torn off another small piece of crust. Vernon frowned. "Harry Potter!"

Startled, Harry looked up, his messy, black hair falling into his eyes. Vernon shook a finger at him. "You had better finish that by the time I get back. Eat it!"

Harry stared at him for a few seconds, then sighed and took a bite.

Satisfied, Vernon grabbed his keys and went out the door.

A/N: Well, what do you think? Please review! I Luv ya 4 ever! 


	2. chapter 2

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Disclaimer: Harry Potter. Mine? I wish.

No. 4 Privet Drive

June 18, 1994

8:00 AM

Dudley sighed as he knocked on his cousin's door. "Harry! Mum wants you to come out and greet Aunt Marge!"

A few seconds later, the door opened and Harry stared out blankly. Dudley frowned and started walking away. He got to the stairs and looked back. Harry had not moved. "Harry! Didn't you hear me? Dad and Aunt Marge will be here any moment! C'mon!"

Harry just shrugged and walked towards him. Dudley waited until Harry had started down the stairs, and then followed. Just as they got to the bottom, the front door opened and Marge walked in, followed by Vernon with her bags. "Petunia! How are you?"

Petunia walked over to Marge and embraced her. Marge gave her a kiss on the cheek, and then turned to Dudley. "Dudders! My darling nephew! Give Aunt a kiss!"

Dudley braced himself, thinking of the twenty pound note he had received from his mum, and then gave his aunt a kiss.

When he was released, he glanced at Harry, who was still standing silently by the stairs, watching with no emotion. Marge glanced in the direction he was looking in and spotted Harry. "You! Vernon's told me some things about you. Not eating or speaking! Nightmares! Well, that's going to stop! Do you hear me?"

Harry gave her a startled look, shrugged and turned to go back up the stairs. He froze as Marge continued speaking. "Vernon, I don't see why you allow him to go to that magic school. Sounds dangerous. One boy dead, Harry's problems, what kind of school is that?!"

Harry spun around and stared at Marge as if she had announced that she was the Queen of England. He then turned and stared at Vernon, who looked uncomfortable. He sat the bags down. "I told Marge all about your 'school' and the letter we received. She knows everything."

Marge grunted. "Yes, and about time too! Although, I can see why you wanted to keep it secret. I had a hard time believing you. But in the end, I did believe you and I decided to come and help out with Harry."

Harry continued to stare at them, then turned around again. But before he could start up the stairs, Vernon quickly walked up to him and grasped his wrist. "Where do you think you're going? You're coming to the kitchen with us. Tea and cookies, Marge?"

At her nod, Vernon started towards the kitchen, pulling an unresisting Harry along. "Petunia, did Harry finish that toast? He had better, he's too thin."

Petunia sighed as they all sat down, Petunia on one side, Marge and Harry on the other, and Vernon at the end. "Yes, actually. Slowly, but he did eat it."

Dudley snorted. "Yeah, after Mum threatened to force feed him."

Marge frowned, and gave Harry, who was staring at the table, a thoughtful look. "Force feed him, hmm? Something to keep in mind."

She grabbed two of the frosted sugar cookies that Petunia had set on table before Marge's arrival, and placed them in front of Harry. He just stared at them as if he had never seen cookies before. Marge took a sip of her tea and lightly smacked Harry on the cheek. "Eat. Vernon's right, you are much too thin. You're going to make yourself sick. If you don't want to end up in the hospital, then eat."

Harry sighed and, picking up a cookie, began to nibble.

A/N: Yay! Another chapter done!

Gryffindor Girl and Kid Majere: Thanks for the title ideas! 

ZeonReborn: Really?! You'll shower me in cookies! Yay! I'm hungry. ^_^

Padfoot: Yeah, I know! The Dursley's nice. O_O Poor Harry probably thinks that aliens abducted the Dursleys and that these are the replacements! ^_^

Well, what do you think? Please review! I'll Luv ya 4 ever! 


	3. chapter 3

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Disclaimer: Marc Jonah? Mine. The others? Rowling's. Which explains why she has money and I don't. 

No. 4 Privet Drive

June 19, 1994

11:15 AM

Harry was stroking Hedwig while staring out his window, when there was a knock at his door. He sighed and walked over to the door and opened it. Standing outside, wearing a dark green dress, was Aunt Marge. She frowned as she looked him over, glaring at his blue sweatshirt and jeans. Harry raised an eyebrow. Aunt Marge sniffed, and grabbed his right wrist, dragging him down the hall. "Come with me. We are going to have a little talk, just the two of us."

She pulled him down the stairs and into the living room. They sat down on the couch. Aunt Marge, smoothed her dress and then look Harry in the eye. "You are going to have to start living again, you can't keep this depression nonsense up. Vernon told me what happened and he showed me the letter that your so-called school sent him. That boy's death was not your fault, so stop all this. Right now."

Harry stared at her. Aunt Marge was being nice! Well, nice for her. In fact, all of the Dursleys were acting weird. They hated him, why were they acting so concerned? 'Maybe they were abducted by aliens and these are the replacements.' he thought.

Harry sighed and looked down at his feet. They didn't understand. It _was_ his fault. He suggested that he and Cedric take the Trophy together. It was his fault that Cedric was dead and it was his fault the Voldemort was back. Why didn't anyone understand that?

***********

****

12:15 PM

Vernon frowned as he watched Dudley and Harry leave the table. They had gotten Harry to eat half an apple this time, but it wasn't enough. Harry was much too thin. Of course it didn't help that he was small and thin to begin with.

He glanced at his wife and sister. Petunia looked troubled and Marge looked thoughtful. Marge looked up at him. "Vernon, I think he needs professional help. There is not much else we can do. He still won't talk and getting him to eat is a daily battle. I think he's anorexic."

Petunia gasped. "Anorexic? Are you sure?"

Marge shook her head. "No, I'm not sure, but it is a strong possibility. Why else won't he eat? Petunia, if I were you, I would call a therapist."

Vernon frowned at Marge. "But how could a normal therapist help? Harry's problems have to do with magic. We can't tell just anyone about this."

Marge raised her eyebrows. "Then find a magic therapist. Write to the headmaster of that school, and have him find a suitable therapist."

Vernon shook his head, wondering at Marge's calm voice. When he had told her about magic, she had thought that he was insane.

**flashback**

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No. 4 Privet Drive

June 12, 1994

1:30 PM

Vernon tugged at his collar as he waited for Marge to pick up the phone.

"Marge Dursley speaking."

Vernon straitened and tried to make his voice sound jovial. "Marge! It's Vernon. I…"

"What has he done now?"

Vernon blinked. "Wha…"

"The boy. Harry. You sound upset. The last time you called and was upset like this was last week, when you were complaining about him not speaking or eating. So, what has he done this time?"

Vernon sighed. "He hasn't _done_ anything this time, but I am calling about him. Marge, what do you think of …um…_magic_?"

Marge snorted. "Magic is nothing but a load of nonsense. Why?"

Vernon cleared his throat. "Marge, I want you to listen to me, okay? Just hear me out. _Magic is real._ Magic…"

"_What?! _Vernon, I think you need help! There is no such thing as magic!"

Vernon shook his head, even though Marge couldn't see him. "No Marge. Magic is real, and Harry is a wizard. He goes to a school called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Petunia's sister was a witch. She and Potter did not die in a car crash, some bad wizard murdered them. Marge, you have to believe me, I wouldn't lie to you about this."

"Vernon…"

Vernon interrupted her. "Marge, about two years ago, when you visiting us, Harry used magic on you. He blew you up, like a balloon. Do you remember?"

"That…happened? No…no, that was just a dream! I must have told you about it…"

Marge sounded uncertain. Vernon hastily continued. "It happened, Marge. He blew you up, and then ran away. Some other wizards came and put you right, then put some spell on you so that you would not really remember. _It happened!_"

"I…I…"

She paused. "I believe you."

**end flashback**

They had met at a small café the next day, he remembered. He told her everything he knew and showed her the letter that the school had sent. She had decided then and there to come help with Harry.

He turned back to the conversation. Petunia was nodding thoughtfully. "Yes, we could do that. Vernon, dear? What do you think?"

Vernon frowned, thinking about it. "Yes, I quite agree. Petunia?"

His wife nodded. "I'll start writing the letter immediately."

She stood up and left.

**********

****

June 20, 1994

2:46 PM

Petunia gave the sink one last swipe with her dishrag, and then turned around. She gave a small shriek of surprise when she saw the tawny owl sitting on the table, with a letter tied to its leg. 

She tentatively walked over to it and untied the letter. The owl gave a hoot, spread its wings and flew out the window. 

Petunia opened the letter, just as Vernon and Marge walked in. Vernon frowned. "What is that?"

"The Headmaster's response." she mumbled as she began to read.

Vernon waited impatiently as she finished. "Well? What does he say?"

Petunia looked up. "He says that he is going to send a man named 'Marc Jonah' over tomorrow. This Jonah is supposed to be a brilliant Psychologist. He should be able to help."

Marge looked at them, solemnly. "We hope."

*********

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Dumbledor's office, Hogwarts

June 20, 1994

1:31 PM

Albus Dumbledor sighed as he watched the school start off on it's journey to Marc's office. Marc was the best in his field and a close friend. He could be trusted with this.

Albus sat down, wearily. Harry Potter had suffered far more than anybody should. Sometimes Albus wondered how the boy had survived all that he had been through.

He sighed again. He just hoped that Harry would survive this.

He shook his head. In retrospect, he was glad that he cast eye-opening spell on the letter that he had sent to the Dursleys at the end of the term. The spell caused anyone who read the letter to open their eyes and see Harry as he really is. A normal, scared child, who just happened to have rather remarkable abilities.

He just hoped that it was enough.

AN: (pant, pant) It's done!! Yay! Victory is mine! All mine! Bwhahahahahaha…cough, cough…Hack…Ahh, hairball.

Anyways… Review responses:

CokeFreak, Hedwig, Catspook, The Lady Sorcha of Sevenwaters, shdurrani, ManicGrace, I Love Draco, Danalas the Lady Chaos, Amy Potter 13: (bows) Thank you, Thank you!

Danu40k: Well now you get to! Yay! Thanx, I'll try to keep it up!

Kid Majere: Um…I think I'll write more. Thanx!

Vellondra539, Lei Dumbledore: I made it longer! I'm proud of myself. I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written. Now lets see if I can keep it up! ;) Thanx!


	4. chapter 4

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Disclaimer: Marc Jonah? Mine. The others? Rowling's. Which explains why she has money and I don't. 

No. 4 Privet Drive

June 21, 1995

11:57 AM

Harry slowly sat down at the dinning table, aware that his relatives were giving him nervous looks. 

Aunt Marge and Aunt Petunia were wearing identical red dresses, Uncle Vernon was wearing a white suit, and Dudley was wearing a black tee shirt with a silver serpent on the front and black jeans. Harry himself was wearing baggy blue jeans and a red sweater that Mrs. Weasley had made for him.

Petunia set a plate with a half of a tuna sandwich in front of him, frowning when he just stared at it.

Uncle Vernon cleared his throat. Harry looked at him, wondering why he wasn't at work. Uncle Vernon cleared his throat again. "Harry, in light of your behavior lately, we have written to the headmaster of your school, Mr. Dumbledor."

Harry narrowed his eyes, not liking where this was going.

Vernon took a bite of his sandwich before continuing. "He's sending a man named Marc Jonah to talk to you. He's a magic psychologist and he'll be here today at 1 o'clock. You _will _talk to him. You…"

He broke off when Harry pushed away from the table and ran to his room. "Harry Potter! Come back here!"

Harry ignored him as he slammed his bedroom door behind him.

__

A psychologist? I don't need a psychologist, I'm fine! Why can't they leave me alone?

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June 21, 1995

1:02 PM

Marc Jonah, a tall handsome man in his late thirties, with wavy, dark blond hair and piercing gray eyes, knocked on the door of No. 4 Privet Drive. He was wearing a white polo shirt and tan pants and was carrying a small black knapsack.

The door was opened by a skinny, blond woman. He smiled. "Mrs. Dursley?"

At her nod, he continued. "I'm Dr. Marc Jonah. I'm here about Mr. Potter."

She smiled and opened the door wider to allow him to enter. "Please come in. I want to thank you for coming. Harry's had us all worried." 

He nodded. "You're very welcome. Where is Mr. Potter?"

"He's in his room." She sighed. "Ever since we told him about you, he's refused to come out. Vernon, my husband, is up there now, trying to convince him to come down."

Marc folded his hands in front of him. "Well, if Mr. Potter won't come out here, perhaps I should go up to him. He might feel more comfortable in his room, in his own territory."

Mrs. Dursley nodded again. "You may be right, Dr. Jonah. This way."

She led him up the stairs and down the hall to a door on the right. She knocked and opened the door. The room was small, with an unmade bed on the far wall, a window on the left wall. There was a small desk and a closet on the right. A trunk sat at the foot of the bed. The room was otherwise bare.

A large man was standing in the middle of the room, a large woman next to him. The man was talking to a small teenager sitting on the bed. "…coming down stairs! You…"

The man looked up when the door opened and stopped when he saw Marc. Marc smiled and extended his hand to the man, setting his knapsack down. "Hello. Mr. Dursley?"

The man nodded as he shook Marc's hand warily. "Yes. This is my sister, Marge."

He gestured to the woman. She shook Marc's hand. Marc smiled. "I'm Dr. Marc Jonah. Please call me Marc. 'Dr.' makes me feel old."

He turned to the boy, watching them without interest, green eyes dull. "And you must be Harry Potter. Albus has told me all about you. Always getting into trouble, driving Severus Snape insane. Just like your father."

At this, Harry's eyes brightened for a second, then faded back into apathy. 

Marc mentally took note of it, then continued. "Harry, the reason I'm here is because your family is very worried about you. So is Albus. He tells me that you won't eat or speak and that you are having trouble sleeping. That you are having nightmares. Albus sent me to help you. Will you let me?"

Harry stared at him for a moment, and then shrugged. Marc turned to include the Dursleys in the conversation, one-sided though it was. "Today I'm going to conduct a physical exam and then you and I, Harry, are going to get to know each other. It will be just the two of us. I like to know what I'm working with before I start therapy. We'll begin therapy next session. I would like to meet with Harry twice a week, at least for now. How does every Tuesday and Thursday sound?"

The last question was directed to the Dursleys, who agreed. 

Mr. Dursley gave his nephew one last look and turned to Marc. "Well, Marc, we'll leave you to it. If you need any thing, we'll be downstairs in the living room."

With that, he, along with his wife and sister, went out the door, closing it behind them.

*************

Harry watched his relatives leave, and then turned towards 'Marc' with a slightly hostile expression on his face. Marc just smiled and drew his wand and a roll of parchment out of his bag.

He unrolled the parchment and set it on the desk, and then walked over to Harry. "This will just take a moment."

Raising his wand, Marc muttered a quick spell. Harry's skin tingled for a few seconds and then Marc was done. Marc walked back to the desk and picked up the parchment. He read it and turned back to Harry with a sigh. "Well Harry, you're 5'5" and you weigh 85 pounds. That is dangerously underweight! You really need to start eating more."

Harry just sighed at the familiar lecture, stood up and walked over to the window.

Marc walked over to him. "Harry, I need to know. Did you stop eating correctly on purpose?"

Harry whipped his head around to stare at Marc. _What?! Does he…He thinks I'm trying to starve myself?! Why would I do that? Maybe I'm just not hungry. Has anyone thought of that? No, of course not! Why would it be that simple?_

He didn't voice his thoughts out loud though. He just continued to stare at Marc.

Marc, for his part, just raised an eyebrow. "Alright, I'll take that as a no. Still, if you don't start eating, you _will_ end up in the hospital, where you'll be fed with an IV. Even in St. Mungo's."

Harry turned back to the window.

Marc watched for a moment, and then smiled brightly. "Alright then! Let me tell you about myself. I was born in Wales. I'm an only child. My family and I moved to London when I was six. I'm a Hogwarts graduate; I went to school with your parents. I was in Ravenclaw. My best subjects were DADA and Muggle Studies. My worst were Potions and Transfigurations; I can't change a needle into a match to save my life! I'm a psychologist, my office is in Hogsmead. I'm unmarried. I'm thirty-two years old. And I'm a friend of Albus Dumbledor. Now, why don't you tell me about yourself."

Harry stared at him. The only people he knew who talked that fast were Colin and Dennis Creevey. Even Hermione didn't talk that fast!

He sighed. _I have to deal with this twice a week?! And for who knows how long! This is going to be a long summer!_

*****************

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Remus Lupin's Cottage

June 22, 1995

2:27 PM

Sirius Black looked up from the kitchen table when the tawny, Hogwarts owl flew through the open window. He had been at Remus Lupin's house for two days, after 'altering the old crowd' as Dumbledor had asked.

Remus lived in a small, broken down cottage on the out-skirts of Bath. The cottage white, and had two bedrooms, a living room, a small kitchen and a bathroom.

Sirius took the letter tied to the owls foot and began to read, runing a hand through his shoulder-length hair. The first thing he did when he got to the cottage, was get a haircut. And a bath.

He read the letter, growing pale. "REMY!"

Remus ran into the kitchen, slightly alarmed by the shout. "Padfoot? What's wrong?"

"It's Harry."

Remus frowned. "Harry? What's wrong with him?"

Sirius shook his head. "I don't know. Dumbledor wants to talk to us. He says it's about Harry, and that it's important. He also said not to panic. Therefore, I'm panicing. Something is wrong with Harry."

Remus nodded. "Lets go."

A/N: Another one done. Yay! This chapter would have been done sooner if I hadn't had to force myself to write the silly thing. That's the thing I hate about writing! ^__~

A/N: I changed the year. It's 1995 not 1994! Sorry! Forgive?

Responses:

k, snowflake, krissy P, The Lady Sorcha of Sevenwaters, The One and Only Amazing Typo, Amy Potter 13, Cricket, babycino, Mikee, Lei Dumbledore, KatieBell2: 

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm done! ^__^

Mikee: Sev's one of my fave characters! I'll get him in somehow, but I need ideas! Help?

Lei Dumbledore: Mind reader!

KatieBell2: I'm having fun with Marc! Heehee! He's perky, friendly, and a little hyper. 


	5. chapter 5

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Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Mine? Bwahahahaha…oh, you were being serious. However Marc Jonah and Dr. Benett are mine.

No. 4 Privet Drive

June 22, 1995

12:57 PM

Harry leaned on the doorframe of the kitchen, waiting for the dizziness to pass. 

This is the second time today! Why am I so dizzy?

Petunia glanced up at her nephew from where she was clearing the table. She frowned when she saw him leaning listlessly on the doorframe. "Harry? Are you all right? Do you feel sick? Do you need to go to the hospital? Dr. Jonah gave me his telephone number in case something is wrong. He said that if you needed it, he could take you a magic hospital. Harry?"

Harry looked up at her, his eyes dull and lifeless. He shook his head slightly and began to walk away. However he had only taken two steps before he stumbled and fell to the floor. He caught himself and screwed his eyes shut.

Petunia gasped and ran to him. "Harry! Harry, what's wrong? Speak to me! Please!"

Harry didn't answer. He opened his eyes and looked at her for a split second, then slumped to the ground, unconscious.

Petunia grasped his shoulders and cried out, "Vernon! Marge! Come here, quick! Harry's sick!"

The house shook as if a stampede had run through, as Vernon, Marge and Dudley ran to the kitchen. Vernon reached them first, Marge and Dudley at his heels. He glanced at Harry. "Petunia! What happened? Marge, go call Dr. Jonah, the number is by the phone."

Marge nodded and ran to the phone. Petunia had begun slapping Harry's face, trying to wake him. She looked at Vernon, worried. "I don't know! He was leaning on the doorframe for a few minutes, and then he started to walk away. He took a few steps, and then fell down. He just collapsed! Vernon, what's wrong with him?"

Vernon just shook his head helplessly, and they waited for Marge to return.

*****************

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St. Mungos, Rm. #36

June 22, 1995

3:37 PM

__

"Kill the Spare." Harry watched as Cedric's lifeless body fell to the ground. He looked up. High pitched laughter filled the air and crimson eyes followed his every move. He turned and ran but still the eyes followed…

Harry woke with a start. He closed his eyes, panting. _Another nightmare. I should be used to this by now._

He tried to rub his eyes but he couldn't raise his hands. He looked down, squinting, and saw that he was tied down, with a needle taped to his right hand. The needle was attached to an IV. Harry frowned and looked around. The room was plain, with white walls and a window with pale yellow curtains to the right. His glasses were on a small table on his left. The bed was facing the door.

The door opened and a tall man with dark hair and a stern face walked in. He glanced at Harry and raised an eyebrow. "So you're awake? Good, though you really need your sleep, Mr. Potter. I'm Dr. Benett. You are at St. Mungos Hospital. Your Aunt and Uncle and Dr. Jonah brought you in. You had collapsed in your home due to starvation and exhaustion. You will stay here for a while, until you are rested and you have gained at least 5 lbs. For now, you will be on an IV, as you can see, which is giving you the nutrients you need."

Harry gazed at the doctor without much interest. _I don't really care. I can have nightmares here as well as at the Dursleys. Well, at least if I'm on an IV, no one is going to yell at me for not eating._

He watched as the doctor left the room, sighing. He frowned. _Wait, why am I tied down? I can understand the IV, but restraints?_

Harry opened his mouth to ask the doctor, but then closed it again. _What does it matter? It won't change anything. It won't change anything at all._

********************

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St. Mungos, Waiting Room

June 22, 1995

3:40 PM

Remus watched as Sirius began another circuit of the private waiting room. Dr. Jonah, and Mr. and Mrs. Dursley were in another waiting room. Albus had only stayed for a few minutes, long enough for the doctor to explain what had happened, before heading back to Hogwarts. They had been there for several hours, waiting for Harry to wake up. When the owl from St. Mungos had arrived, Albus had been explaining about the _Adaperio Acies, _or Open Eyes spell. The spell forced the target, in this case, the Dursleys, to realize something that they had refused to see before. It forced the Dursleys to see that Harry was a good person.

Remus softly snorted. _It's about time. Albus should have done this a long time ago. It would have made Harry's life easier, and maybe he wouldn't be in the hospital now._

He looked up when he heard Sirius begin to swear. He frowned. "Padfoot, calm down."

Sirius paused in mid-step and glared at him. "Calm down?! Moony, my Godson is in the hospital, because he hasn't been eating. He hasn't been eating because he's been depressed. We think he's depressed because Voldemort is back, but we don't know for sure because he won't talk because he's depressed. And you want me to calm down?! Moony, my Godson, my reason for living, for surviving every day, is hurting himself. How come nobody did anything to help him? Why didn't his _family_ help him? Why…"

"Sirius!" Sirius snapped his mouth shut, he had nearly been shouting. Remus took a deep breath and continued. "We are helping him. The Dursleys are also helping him, as much as they can. Harry has a therapist who is also helping him. He'll be all right. But it's going to take time."

Sirius looked at him with a heart-rending expression. "But Rem, what if he's not? What if he's not going to be all right? I… I'm afraid. I…"

Sirius closed his eyes and turned away, holding himself as if cold. Remus walked up to him and, placing a hand on his shoulder, turned him around. Sirius gazed at the floor. Remus studied him for a second. "Siri, what are you afraid of?"

Sirius looked up in time for Remus to see a lone tear fall. "I'm afraid that one day, Harry won't be here. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him. Remy…" Sirius choked back a sob. "Rem, I don't want to lose him. He's my life."

Remus wrapped his arms around his friend, hugging him. "We won't lose him, Siri. I promise, we won't lose him. He's going to be fine. Somehow…"

As Sirius broke into tears, Remus continued to whisper reassurances, and he did something he hadn't done in years. He prayed. _Harry. Please be all right. Sirius can't afford to lose you too. I can't lose you. We'll help you. Please be all right. We love you._

**************

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Rm. #36

Harry looked up from fidgeting with the restraints to see the door open and two figures walked in. His heart gave a jump as he recognized Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. _Sirius is here? What is he doing, he's going to be caught!_

Remus looked around before smiling faintly at Harry. "Hello, Harry. How are feeling?"

Harry frowned and looked at Sirius. Sirius looked tired and worried. Remus, correctly interpreting the glance, replied, "Don't worry. This is a small, private ward and everyone here knows the truth about Sirius. He's in no danger. We're more worried about you."

Sirius sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at Harry with an unreadable look, before speaking. "Harry? Why didn't you tell me?"

Harry felt his eyes fill with tears as he looked up at his Godfather. _I hurt him. I didn't tell him what was going on, about the dreams and I hurt him. And now he's here with me, in his human form in a public place. The ministry will catch him, and it will all be my fault!_

Sirius cupped Harry's chin in his hand. "Don't cry. It's going to be okay. I'm not mad. Please don't cry."

Harry looked Sirius in the eye as he began to cry silently. Sirius hugged his as well as he was able, murmuring softly. "It's alright, Harry. Don't cry. Everything's going to be fine."

Harry closed his eyes, listening to Sirius. _But, it's not going to be fine. I've hurt to many people. Because of me, Cedric's dead, Pettigrew got away and Sirius is in danger. And now I've hurt Sirius again. He deserves better. I wish I was never born. I wish I was dead._

A/N: Chapter 5 up! Yay! Victory is mine! Haha!

Shameless plug: Read my other HP story, Heroes. Please?! It's a Remus Is A What?! story. Please? (falls to her knees and begins to beg) Please?

Replies:

Thank you everyone!

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Saffire: Of Course! There's gonna be lots of Sirius!

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Wquad: Okay! 

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**Amy Potter 13**: Thank you! I will!

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HEHEHE: Thanks! I will! 

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TeeDee: It's here! 

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**PrinceMarth****: **But…but…Okay! I hope that explanation is enough. (points to the story)

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**Frog****: **Thank you!

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WHIPSNAKE: I don't know if Harry will be going to Hogwarts during this story. Maybe. But if he does, he will still be like this.

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**Child-of-the-Dawn****: **Thank you. I rather liked it.

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	6. chapter 6

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Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Mine? Bwahahahaha…oh, you were being serious. However Marc Jonah and Dr. Benett are mine. You may use them, but please ask me first, 'kay?

Rm. #36

June 22, 1995

6:30 PM

Harry looked up as the door opened. Remus had managed to convince Sirius to get some sleep and they had left 15 minutes ago, Remus promising he would be back soon.

However, Remus was not who walked in. Harry frowned when he saw Marc Jonah. Marc smiled at him. "Hello Harry! How are you feeling?"

At Harry's silence, Marc continued on, undaunted. "Probably not very happy to be here, but Harry, I did warn you that this would happen. I did. You need to start taking better care of yourself."

Harry frowned and looked down at the restraints around his wrists. Marc caught the look and sat down at the foot of the bed. "The restraints are there to keep you from pulling the IV out. Dr. Benett told me that you were having nightmares." 

Harry sighed and looked away. Marc sighed as well. "Harry, why won't you talk? We're worried about you. Your family, Sirius, Remus…everyone. And before you ask, Albus told me about your Godfather."

Harry closed his eyes. It didn't surprise him that Marc knew about Sirius. _Why won't I talk? Marc, if I knew, I would tell you. I don't do any of this on purpose you know._

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Waiting room

June 23, 1995

9:40 AM

Sirius looked up to see the door open to admit a man with gray eyes. The man smiled and walked over to him, hand out stretched. "Hello. I'm Marc Jonah, Harry's psychologist. You must be Sirius Black, the man who's got the entire wizarding world in a panic."

Sirius smiled wanly, and took the man's hand. "That would be me. Everyone's favorite convict."

Marc laughed with delight. "I'm glad I ran into you. I've been meaning to talk to you about Harry."

Sirius nodded, his smile fading. "Is he going to be alright?"

Marc nodded, grabbing a chair and placing it in front of Sirius, sitting down. "He'll be fine…in time. But right now, he needs to know that he is loved, no matter what happens. He needs you, his family, his friends, everyone who cares about him, cares for _Harry,_ not The Boy Who Lived. Albus has told me everything that has happened. Harry needs to know that Cedric's death was not his fault. That he couldn't have known what was about to happen."

Sirius sighed and looked down. After a moment he looked back up at Marc. "So, how do we do that?"

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Rm. #36

June 23, 1995

3:30 PM

Ron Weasley glanced uneasily at his best friend, Hermione Granger as she opened the door to his other best friend's hospital room. He was used to visiting Harry in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts, but this was different. There, it was for Quidditch injuries and colds, with the occasional battle with Voldemort thrown in. But this time, it was for something that Harry did to himself.

Ron was scared.

He was scared that he would lose his friend. Of course, this fear wasn't anything new. Besides the danger that Harry was always in, Ron had always been afraid that Harry would find better friends, that he would wake up and realize that he deserved better than him and Hermione. He knew in his heart that that fear was unfounded, that Harry wasn't like that, but the fear was there, just the same.

And now, there was the possibility that they would lose Harry by his own hand. Either by Harry not taking care of himself, or by suicide. 

He took a deep breath and followed Hermione into the room. Harry looked up as they entered, surprise showing on his face. Ron forced a smile. "Hey, mate. How're you feeling?"

Harry just shrugged and looked away. Hermione burst into tears. "Oh, Harry! You _have_ to be alright!"

Harry stared at her, startled, as she ran to him and threw her arms around him, sobbing. He looked at Ron, helplessly, who threw his hands into the air. "Hey, don't look at me! I can't help you there! She's worried about you, mate. We both are." 

Harry sighed and looked at Hermione, who straightened, sniffling. She sat on the edge of the bed, taking his left hand in hers. Ron walked over to the other side of the bed and grasped Harry's other hand.

With her free hand, Hermione brushed Harry's bangs back from his forehead, revealing his scar. She closed her eyes and sighed. "Oh, Harry. Sirius wrote to us and told us what was happening. Nothing that happened was your fault. Nothing. Everything is going to be fine. _You're_ going to be fine. I just know it."

Ron rolled his eyes at Harry. "And we know that 'Mione is _always_ right."

Hermione glared at Ron for a second and then smiled, mischievously. "Yes, I _am _always right, aren't I?"

Ron snorted.

If they had looked at Harry right then, they might have noticed the amusement in his eyes.

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Location unknown

Midnight

June 23, 1995

The rat ran down the hall of the old, slightly run down manor. It was dark, the torches remained unlit, but the rat didn't need light to see. The rat darted into a dark room. At first, the room seemed empty, but then a large fireplace on the far wall lit with a whoosh. Standing in the middle of the room was a tall, thin man, with crimson eyes and a snake like face. Lord Voldemort.

Voldemort smiled. It was a frightening sight. "Ah, Wormtail. There you are."

The rat quickly transformed into the man once known as Peter Pettigrew and fell to his knees. He kissed the hem of Voldemort's robes. He whimpered. "M-master. Y-y-you c-called."

Voldemort turned and walked to the fireplace. "Yes, Wormtail, I did. One of my Death Eaters discovered a very interesting fact. It seems that Harry Potter is at St. Mungos, being treated for depression. Isn't that lovely? It seems that dear Harry is not at all happy about my return. I think that I should pay the dear boy a visit. Don't you think Wormtail?"

Wormtail swallowed nervously. "Y-yes, M-master."

Voldemort turned to him. "But, St. Mungos is very tightly guarded. I won't be able to just walk in. What do you think I should do, Wormtail?"

"M-make the b-boy c-come to y-you, Master?"

Voldemort smirked. "Exactly. But how to do that?"

Wormtail shook his head. "I d-don't know, M-master."

The Dark Lord laughed mirthlessly. "Oh, Wormtail. Of course you don't know. Because you're a fool. We'll lure the boy here. We'll just need the proper bait."

As Voldemort began to laugh, Wormtail began to shiver.

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Rm. #36

Harry jolted awake, breathing harshly, as he remembered his dream. Or was it a vision. He had to warn Dumbledor, but how?

A/N: I updated! Wait…feel that? Yep, that is the world ending! ^__^

Review Responses: 

Muah-Baby-Muah- Thank you!

Wquad- J 

Alexandra- It's one of the saddest things you have ever read? O_O Whoa. And I was just thinking it wasn't sad enough! Cool! Thank you! 

Maria- Yep, it has a plot, don't worry. Thank you!

ES DE HYPER Y ANNOYING FIREFLY!!!!- Thank you! And it's always good to meet another sugar fan!

HPforever- O_O Another person who thinks it's sad. Cool! Thank you!

kateydidnt- Response for Forever in my Memory- Thank you! Yeah, I am reading "Harry Potter and his Dreams" I really should review, but I am horrible about that. (cries in shame)

Response for Heroes- Again, Thank you! Yeah, I always though of Peter as weak, not evil. And if Peter hadn't been a real friend at some point, James and Sirius would _never _have trusted him with the Potter's lives. And if he was as pathetic as he is some fanfics, James, Sirius and Remus wouldn't have been friends with him.

As for the nicknames, I think that is just a matter of opinion. Personally, I can see them calling Remus "Remy", but oh, well. ^__^

Amy Potter 13- Thank you! Don't worry. Harry won't commit suicide. But he will think seriously about it a couple of times. Which makes sense really, because he is dealing with guilt and depression. But he'll get over it. He's stronger than that, and he has a great support group.

Ms. Padfoot- Don't worry, I won't! And Thanks!

whip snake- We'll see!

MKLRadcliffe-Potter- The next chapter is here! I didn't mean to make you wait years!


	7. chapter 7

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Disclaimer: You know the drill. They're not mine. (pouts)

A/N: Okay, from this chapter on, there will be some slight **spoilers** for Order of the Phoenix.  Like some of the characters and places. 

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12 Grimmauld Place

10:27 AM

June 25, 1995

The members of the Order of the Phoenix were in a meeting, discussing Harry's safety. It was decided that two members would be with him at all times.

Albus looked at Sirius. "Sirius, you and Tonks have the first shift. You should be going now. I declare this meeting of the Order of the Phoenix adjourned!"

The various members got up and began to leave. Sirius turned to Nymphadora Tonks, a very clumsy Auror with the ability to change her appearance at will. Currently, she had neon green hair, done up in spikes and violet eyes. She was wearing baggy blue jeans and a loose, white T-shirt.

She smiled at him. "Ready to go, Sir?"

He nodded and transformed. Together they left Sirius's old home and Tonks Apparated outside St. Mungos. As they were about to enter the hospital, Sirius smelled a familiar scent. Peter!

Peter Pettigrew was nearby, and that meant a Death Eater attack. He growled.

Tonks looked down at him and drew her wand. "What is it? Death Eaters?"

Sirius gave an affirmative bark. He looked around. The area they were in was deserted except for the two of them. He didn't see Peter anywhere, as a human or a rat. Where was he?

His question was answered by a shout from his right. "Stupefy!" 

Sirius and Tonks dodged and the spell went past them. Sirius turned towards the source of the spell and saw fifteen Death Eaters, including Wormtail.

Wormtail smirked. "H-hello, Padfoot, old friend. My Master wishes to see you. Get him!"

From behind Sirius came another shout of, "Stupefy!"

He tried to dodge, but wasn't fast enough. One of the spells hit him, and he fell to the ground, unconscious.

***

Tonks watched as Padfoot fell to the ground. One of the Death Eaters grabbed him and Apparated away. She turned back to the leader, Peter Pettigrew, she guessed.

He smiled at her. "D-don't worry. You get to live. For a while anyways. Give this to Harry Potter."

He handed her a sealed envelope.

"Don't try to open it yourself."

She looked up at him again. He continued. "It's warded. Only Harry Potter can open it. It will kill anyone else."

With that, he and the rest of the Death Eaters Apparated away.

As soon as they were gone, Tonks ran into the hospital and into an unused waiting room. She locked the door, and put a silence ward around the room.

She quickly pulled out a small hand mirror and said, "Albus Dumbledor."

A few seconds later, the face of Albus appeared in the mirror, looking concerned. "Tonks? Is there something wrong?"

She smiled grimly. "You could say that. Sirius has been captured."

Albus paled. "Captured? The Ministry?"

Tonks shook her head. "No Death Eaters."

She quickly told him what happened. When she was finished, he told her that he would be right there.

When he arrived he quickly examined the letter. "It appears that Peter was telling the truth. This letter is warded. Only Harry may read it."

Tonks frowned. "Are you going to give it to him?"

Albus sighed heavily. "I think we have to. Only he can read this, only can tell us what it says. This letter may be the key to saving Sirius."

"But…if Harry's not talking, how can he…?"

Albus smiled gently. "Speech is not the only form of communication available to me."

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RM. #36

10:42 AM

Harry looked up as Dumbledor and a girl with green hair walked, both looking grave. He frowned. Dumbledor smiled at him but Harry noticed that the twinkle in his eyes was gone. He felt a chill go up his spine. Something was very wrong.

Dumbledor sat on the edge of the bed and began to speak. "Harry, this is Tonks. She's an Auror and a good friend."

Harry nodded at him to continue. Dumbledor took a deep breath. "Harry, Tonks was coming up here with Sirius. When they arrived, there were Death Eaters waiting for them. Including Wormtail."

Harry felt his face go pale. Sirius! Something had happened to Sirius!

Dumbledor took a deep breath and continued softly. "Harry…Sirius was captured. Wormtail left a letter that is keyed to you. Only you can read it."

He handed Harry the letter. Harry numbly took it. It was sealed with the Dark Mark.

He opened the envelope and began to read the letter.

**__**

Dear Mister Potter,

Your dear Godfather is currently a guest of mine. He is just dying_ to see you._

If you wish to see him again, you will go to the entrance of Knockturn Alley. There will be a portkey waiting for you. You will know it when you see it. Come alone or dear Padfoot pays the price.

Lord Voldemort

His hand shaking, Harry lowered the letter to the bed, where it vanished with a flash of light. He stared blankly at the wall, ignoring Dumbledor as he cast a spell to discover the contents of the letter. Sirius was a prisoner of Voldemort. Because of him. Voldemort was using Sirius to get to him.

Harry closed his eyes. The people he loved always got hurt because of him. It was all his fault!

__

If I were dead, this wouldn't happen. I only cause people pain. But first, I need to save Sirius!

__

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RM. #36

12:27 PM

Ron and Hermione walked into Harry's room, both trying not to cry. Inside, Harry was trying to get his restraints off. He looked up as they entered. Hermione walked over and hugged him.

"Oh, Harry! Dumbledor just told us what happened to Sirius. What are we going to do?"

Harry looked at her and bit his lip. Ron watched him for moment. "You're going after him, aren't you?"

Harry nodded silently and continued to try to get free. Hermione straightened. "Harry? Can you tell us what the letter said? Dumbledor wouldn't say."

Harry stared at her, opened his mouth for a minute, and then closed it, shrugging helplessly.

Ron frowned thoughtfully. "Well, could you write it down?"

Harry nodded and Hermione ran out the door, returning a few minutes later with a quill, ink and parchment. She undid Harry's restraints and Harry wrote down the contents of the letter.

Hermione read it out loud and frowned. "Hmm, it's going to be hard to get all three of us there, especially with everyone watching us."

At Harry's startled look, Hermione sighed in exasperation. "Harold James Potter! Did you honestly think that we would let you go alone? Really!"

Harry smiled slightly for the first time in months. Ron and Hermione smiled back at him and the Gryffindor Trio began to plan.

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A/N: I updated! Finaly! Writer's Block is Evil. Evil I tell you! Well, I defeated it this time! Whoo hoo!

Review Responses: 

Ms. Padfoot: Abandon my story? Never! I like this one too much! ~_^ Thank you!

Taineyah: Thank you!

Miss Shadow Prowl: Thanks!

princess55: Another person who thinks this story is really sad! Whoo hoo! And I agree with you! A good story is one that get an emotional response from the reader. Thanks!

ObSidian10: Me too! As for Sev, I'm not making any promises, but I'll try to get him in the story. Thank you!

Englishgirl: Thanks!

Shadowsofpain: Of course! Yeah, it is a nice change, isn't it? Thanks!

Werepup: Thank you!

Jewls5: I updated! See? I did! Really! ^_^ Thanks!

Star06: So, I'm guessing you want more? LOL! Well here it is! Thanks!

Eternally*Mine: Well, it's kinda both. There are times when he _wants_ to talk, but he can't. But most of the time, he just doesn't want to, he doesn't care. Thank you!

Danalas the Lady Chaos: I know how that feels! LOL! Thanks!


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